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[fusion_text]No Mystery

There’s no mystery why couples breakup. Certain predictable factors play a part, as we have seen in our previous sessions.

It’s also no mystery how couples can achieve a breakthrough after a breakdown. Certain key factors play an important part in reaching a breakthrough. Let’s review a few of these.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][three_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”#e6e7e8″ background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_position=”all” border_size=”30px” border_color=”#e6e7e8″ border_style=”solid” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]Watch this video and note some of the factors that contribute a breakthrough.[/fusion_text][separator style_type=”none” top_margin=”20″ bottom_margin=”20″ sep_color=”” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

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Four Factors Can Make a Big Difference

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[fusion_text]Character Is Crucial

Previously, we considered the important role that character plays in reaching a breakthrough. When we’re talking character, we’re talking yours, not theirs. You cannot control whether they will embrace growth. But you can decide if you will. You can decide if you’ll show the courage, wisdom, humility, openness to forgive appropriately, patience, perseverance, and durable love that it takes to move forward.

Despite what others do, character and learning new relationship skills is always better than staying stuck in blame. Avoid the temptation to retreat into blame and playing the martyr. Doing that only guarantees you’ll approach life and relationships with an unhealthy passivity that will not serve you well. So embrace every problem as an opportunity to grow.[/fusion_text]

[fusion_text]Everything Changes When You Change

Throughout this coaching program we talk about how everything changes when you change. Adopting this truth will help you to get unstuck and avoid getting stuck again in the future. If you discount this principle, then you’ll always be subject to waiting for the other person in the relationship to initiate positive change. Think about it. If the change you’re seeking is truly beneficial for you, them and the relationship, then there is no good reason to wait for the other person to initiate it. Tolerating dysfunction is itself dysfunctional. Healthy relationships cannot be built on a foundation of dysfunction. So become the advocate for health in your relationships, and see what happens.[/fusion_text]

[fusion_text]”But It’s Not Fair”

When we become adults, however, the goal is to put aside childish behaviors. Seeking health rather than fairness is the task of adults. When confronted with aggression or disrespect, the solution isn’t to respond with disrespect or aggression. The solution isn’t to become passive aggressive and spit in their soup. Nor is the solution to just take it. A better approach is to learn how to communicate well and set appropriate limits. We’ll talk more about in the next course. For now, remember that one of the ways to reach a breakthrough is giving up the demand for fairness and to give better than what you’re getting. Seek health when no one else is.[/fusion_text]

[fusion_text]Take Positive Action

Someone has said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, then you always get what you’ve always got.” The only way to change that up is to take positive action yourself. Instead of hinting, instead of wishing and hoping, instead of waiting for the other person to get it, your only good alternative is to take positive action. There’s no other way to pave the way to a breakthrough.

So when you’re seeking a breakthrough in a difficult relationship, remember there are plenty of things that you can do to make positive happen. Be a catalyst for positive change even in your most difficult relationships.[/fusion_text]

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